Asking for help usually means you must admit to something you’d prefer not to mention. Asking for help means you must admit you need other people. Asking for help means you can’t do something by yourself.
Our own pride, self-centeredness and ego often prevent us from asking for help; they convince us that we don’t need it. Guilt and shame can then stop us in our tracks. And asking a family member or friend whom you’ve hurt through your addiction? Well, it’s painful.
It is often said that admitting to yourself that you have a problem with drugs and alcohol is taking the first step. And while this may be true, there is another that shortly follows along behind, asking for help from someone else.
Drink ‘n’ Drugs
It is often said that admitting to yourself that you have a problem with drugs or alcohol is the first step. And while that is a big step – the next one, maybe even bigger: asking for help from someone else.
Here are 4 top tips to remember when asking someone else for help to overcome your addiction to substances.
4 Top Tips To Reclaim Your Life
If you are fearing or dreading reaching out for help with addiction, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:
1) Asking For Help In Addiction Shows Courage
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak – in fact, it’s the complete opposite. Your pride and self-centeredness are actually what makes you weak because they make you stand alone. It takes strength and humility to turn to others for a hand – and there is also the strength to be found in numbers.
It’s natural to want to be proud of your accomplishments. But when you’ve destroyed relationships, committed crimes, hurt the people you love the most and who love you the most, caused health problems to yourself and caused mental health problems in others, lost homes, caused relationship breakdowns, caused financial problems and ruined careers, all because of a drug or alcohol addiction. It’s hard to be proud of anything you’ve done. Don’t let your pride feed you excuses to keep drinking alcohol and using drugs. Recognise that it takes courage to drop your ego – and strength to locate help.
2) Asking For Help Does NOT Make You A Burden
Do you feel like your friends and family have been through enough? That they don’t want to deal with your problems anymore? That you’re only a burden to them and that they would be better off without you? The truth is – you’re not.
Yes, your family members and friends have likely been through a lot because of your addiction – but that’s all the more reason they’ll want you to get the right help you need to overcome your addiction. Even after all you’ve done, they still love you and do only want the best for you! When one person helps another, it’s not typically because helping is convenient – it’s because they care.
Asking for help also doesn’t make you dependent on others; it means that you absolutely need the support, guidance and counselling of professionals in order to create a healthy, prosperous and productive life, free from the bonds that addiction holds over all addicts. Asking for and receive help will give you the strength and confidence to live your life with the support of friends and colleagues that you will meet in your recovery.
3) Be Upfront & Honest
Desperation and manipulation have likely become a large part of your daily existence, thanks to your drug or alcohol addiction. But those actions must end when you ask for help.
Being upfront and honest is key when asking for help because it sets you up with a solid foundation to begin your recovery. The act of surrender and overcoming your denial requires intense honesty and acceptance. After all, the more you tell those who want to help you, even if it may seen embarrassing, scary or shameful, the better they can help you to overcome your addiction!
Honesty isn’t an easy part of asking for help – if it was, anyone could get into recovery without damage to their ego. Honesty is accepting that your ego is wrong – that you can’t do this alone, what you’ve done alone up to now hasn’t worked and that you need help from an external source. Once you get honest with yourself and others and can face that fact – you can move forward and start to change from an addict to a survivor!
4) Don’t Be Embarrassed, Ashamed Or Scared
Asking for help puts you in a vulnerable position which no one like to be in. However, it’s important to recognise that you should not be embarrassed, ashamed or scared about needing help. If you’re nervous to talk to your parents, spouse, adult children or siblings then don’t be. It’s easier said than done but it is the truth. It’s likely that they have noticed and worried about your addiction for some time now and may not have said anything in fear of making things worse or admitting and finally confirming that truth that you have an addiction as it is easy to hide away under the metaphorical carpet of maybe, possibly and “I’ll do it tomorrow!”
The most important thing about asking for help for any form of addiction is that it is never to late to ask for help, no matter what has happened in your life or in your relationships, there is and always will be hope!
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If they haven’t noticed and they are surprised by your admission, it’s more than likely they’ll still want to do everything in their power to help you seek the right help, support and treatments you need in order to fight and overcome your addiction. Remember, even though you may be the one who is actively addicted drugs and alcohol, your family and friends are more often than not, just as affected as well. All they’ll want is for you to be both happy and well.
Once you’ve admitted to yourself and others that you are ready to ask for help – take action by selecting the person you think will be most likely to be willing and ready to support you in your decision to gain freedom for your drug or alcohol addiction. For most people, this person is a close family member like a parent or a sibling. The most important thing about asking for help for any form of addiction is that it is never too late. No matter what has happened in your life or in your relationships, there is still hope.
Remember…
Don’t be afraid of being seen as being weak or incapable by asking for help. We all need help at one time or another, and it’s especially important that you seek the proper help and support for your addiction at the earliest possible opportunity, before the typical damage that’s caused by longer term substance use begins to take hold of you and those around you too.
If you don’t feel that talking to a friend or family member about this is right for you, at least reach out to your local community based drug and alcohol service and seek advice and guidance.
The greatest triumphs in life start by accepting that what you’re doing isn’t working and doing something about it, with someone else who can help us that does!…
#askforhelp #askforhelpwhenyouneedit
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