How often do we say things that we don’t mean in the heat of an argument or wish that we could take back a comment we made without thinking about it first.
By using this simple technique, we can ensure that the things we say are only the things that we want to say, without having to regret afterwards.
Follow this simple set of instructions:
1 – Be present and listen no what is happening, no matter what the situation.
2 – Stop, breath and take a moment to ensure you have properly listened to what has been said.
3 – During this pause, think about what it is you want to get across to the other person/people and the best way to say it. If you need to walk away to think, then do so.
4 – Ask yourself whether you have correctly understood the context in which it was meant, as we often get the “wrong end of the stick” or misinterpret what they were trying to get across.
5 – Say what it is you want to say in the tone you want to say it.
Have A Look At Our Example Below To Better Understand This Process:
Someone says to you “you can’t maintain your recovery, like you haven’t before”.
Stop, breath, think what it is they are trying to say?
After a moment, ask them what they meant, as you may be thinking they are criticising your abilities to achieve abstinence and recovery.
They explain to you that every time you’ve tried to stop using or drinking before, you’ve never managed it as you’ve always done it alone.
You now understand that they weren’t criticising you, but trying to tell you that if you want to succeed, you need some professional help, learn some new techniques and knowledge and gain support from others in recovery.
We may have reacted by making a rude comment or ended up becoming offended because we misinterpreted what they were trying to say. But instead, we have responded and ended up having a productive conversation rather than an argument!
This skill is an important skill to learn, no matter whether you are still currently using or drinking, in recovery or are a friend or family member of an addict.
Proper, clear, precise communication is such an important skill that everyone can benefit from, and not just addicts or those around them. It will also help others to have constructive, beneficial conversations around addiction, those afflicted by addiction and those around addicts to promote better understanding, care and knowledge that aren’t based upon stigmas, myths or misinformation and instead, allows for discussions that include facts, statistics and accurate evidence from the latest, upto date scientific research.
Share this article with as many people as possible so that others can benefit from this beneficial tool as you have.